Adam

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 19:48:55 GMT

I am the king of dicks.

Riggs is a Kingpin.

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 17:34:16 GMT

It's called a stingray, not a hugray, bitches.

*Natalie takes over*

Adam is trying to tell me what to put in this neglected thing. Something about Steve Irwin being hugged to death or some shit. But I've decided to take over and fill this damn thing with something other than death and emo-whinny-crap-bullshit.

.....

Yeah, nope. My mind won't wander farther than the word poop. Ah well, I suppose you dying fans are going to have to wait another month for Adam to grace you with big headed words and song lyrics.

And by the way April, I'm sorry I called your dog ugly. I'll keep my mouth shut next time you call my boyfriend you piece of regurgitated Cocker Spaniel shit.

Alright kids, have a wonderful day. God bless.

Fri, 12 May 2006 06:33:39 GMT

Natalie is a punk-ass punk. We got in a fist fight. I won... Guess I better call the police..

We've had a dog for a couple of months now. We had to get rid of Porter awhile back because he was destroying everything within his reach. Now we have a baby corgi named Speak. She just reached 4 months old and is now going into heat (which is obnoxious).

Ive still fuckin got it!

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 23:59:40 GMT

Still, I posess the same old superpower. Making people want to leave work early and getting them to disregard the consequences. Bangarang!

So yeah. Got a house. Got a dog. His name is Kevin Porter (call him Porter) and he's got a mammoth head. Cute though, despite the whole urinating on the carpet thing. Natalie is at work right now and Im bored as shit (however bored shit can get. I would assume pretty damn bored).

I'll make you wish
You hadn't burned our time before
I'll live through this
In a manner cursed of my own accord

(I don't want to go)
So come on, bitch, why aren't you laughing now?
(You left me here to fend on my own)
So cry on bitch, why aren't you laughing now?
Yeah

If my shame spills our worth across this floor
Then tonight, goodnight
Im burning star 4
Only I don't even think of you
No I don't wanna think of you anymore
Goodnight, tonight, goodbye

A nice gesture indeed..

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 08:49:19 GMT

Holy shit.. Its still here. Im bored. The only reason Im even online at the moment is to check up on a date from about a year ago. I think it's the 7th. In any case it's almost a year. Amazing indeed. I just figured Id put something in here so when I look back at it every once and awhile it wont seem so empty or full of whinning. Now, I go back to bed.

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 03:01:29 GMT

FUCK

I don't get it anymore. Why am I so upset? Something feels wrong and I can't place what it is. I wish everything would just go back to the way it was a couple of months ago. It's been awhile since Ive said anything in here. Since then there's really been nothing significant to say. Tedium would set in on me repeating how much I love Natalie (Which I do). Life goes on, at a crawl or a drag, switching gears as it goes so you either can't catch up or crash headlong...Im lonely and bored right now. I feel forgotten in a way. Not saying anyone is ignoring me or anything like that. Simply put, I feel like my life and I are fading into the background. Atmosphere at best. Atmosphere for a world that moves at a different speed and with a different set of rules.

Nothing hurts you, does it Conan?

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 06:19:04 GMT

Only pain.

Sitting here with the most beautiful and wonderful person in the world. Just thought you chumps should know that.

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 07:37:33 GMT

I cant fuckin sleep. I miss my Natalie. I hate TV after 3 AM. Infomercials just arent that fun when youre alone. My hot pocket is done. Rumble in the jungle, bitch.

I whupped Supermans ass!

If you could be any Dynasty Warriors character, who would you be?

LU-FUCKIN-BU!

Moocows dont trust me.

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 03:46:06 GMT

This house is full of ears but I can't talk to anyone
They've heard this one a thousand times
Most exciting thing I do - hang half way out a third floor window,
maybe throw lit cigarettes down.
And maybe I'll catch fire,
something warm to hold me,
something pure to burn away the darkness that hides inside my mind.
All that evil shit's not hard to find
I guess I only claim to be nice.

This house is full of eyes but I can't look at anyone
They've seen this face a thousand times
Most relaxing thing I do - hang half way out a third floor window,
and look at rocks if I fall out,
And maybe I'll fall hard,
something tough to break me,
something sharp to rip into my insides and bleed out all that pain.
Sorry I don't even know your name
I guess for me it's easy this way.

Maybe I'll catch fire,
something warm to hold me,
something pure to burn away the darkness that hides inside my mind.
All that evil shit's not hard to find
I guess I only claim to be nice.

Im at Natalies. Pizza and sex. har har har. Right so Im working a lot lately. Thats about it. I just felt the need to write in here because I saw her doing so. We've been together for 6 months now. WOW. Every minute has been worth remembering. She's wonderful.

Understand Me

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 06:38:05 GMT

Here is a plea
From my heart to you
Nobody knows me as well as you do
You know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
that takes hold of my tounge in situations like these

Understand me
Understand me
- Depeche Mode

Ive said it a whole damn lot, but it never seems to be enough (and before I go on an understanding should be reached. Never enough to do justice to how I feel, not never enough to please some one else.) I love her. People can say and think whateverthefuck they'd like to. It won't slow me down or damper my feelings at all.

I just wish she could see herself the way I see her. Infuriating at times. So wonderful on so many levels. I'd do anything for her. Normally Im a pretty self centered person. On most occasions I wouldnt really bother to reassure anyone else, no matter how close I was to them (immediate family excluded). With her, however, I only want her to know how crazy I am about her and how wonderful she really is. Not for me, but for her.

Okay.. I didnt get to see her today and I can't stop thinking about her.. Trying to get focused.

2:30 AM...

Went camping this passed weekend. The first time Ive actually gone on vacation with some one who wasn't Mike or family..(Oh wait.. Mike did go... Fuck.) Having her with me made it a totally different experience than Im used to. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Natalie is pretty much the only thing that keeps me going right now (That and the desire to get a 69 GTO). We went floating down a river. Call it tubing or canoing, we just cut out the middle man. For some of us it was more a fight against the current than a relaxing trip though. Lots of beer, and little food or water. We werent very prepared, but we made up for it.

7 is the number to beat.

Gotta get up for work in about 7 hours so I may as well get some sleep. I wanna call, but I know no one will answer.. May as well try.

Rakasha

Mon, 23 May 2005 07:02:58 GMT

Much better now. No more needs to be said other than just seeing her turned my weekend around.

I am good at one thing. Walking away.

Sun, 22 May 2005 19:34:43 GMT

Is this how I am supposed to be? Wasting time with nothing or something, I don't know anymore. Something unfilling like nothing or a pseudo satisfying emptiness like nothing ? Im feeling better. Hopefully the whole sickness ordeal will be over by tomorrow so I can get back to work. The phone doesnt ring and there's never a knock at the door. Something has to change. So fucking bored and lonely right now.

Star Wars

Fri, 20 May 2005 14:30:10 GMT

Sick as hell. I can't remember being this sick before. I hope Im not dying. Its hard as hell to breathe. FUCK!

Im insufferable when Im in heat, it's my animal!

Thu, 12 May 2005 04:11:44 GMT

So put the sugar in the tank of the sheriff's car. And slash the deputies tires and they wont get very far. When they finally get the word, that there's been a hold up.

Got nothing to do right now. Trying to quit smoking and losing my damn mind for the attempt. Too bad I cant just bash those Truth.com fuckers... That shit is really making it hard. "Hey, jackass, if you want me to quit smoking then let me go 10 minutes without thinking about it!" Seriously.

Well then. Moving along.

My job is obnoxious.

The bitchfest continues, you say? Har-dee-har-fuckin-har. Ive got nothing else to bitch about. So, with that the bitch-mobile comes to a crashing halt just too late to stop itself from slamming into oncoming traffic. Other than boredom at the moment and disliking certain aspects of my job, Im actually quite content. Take that!

Wait for something better, will I know when it can be us?

Sun, 08 May 2005 08:11:08 GMT

Im pretty drunk right now. I had a lot of fun tonight with my brother and Danielle (Not my little sister, Ben's girlfriend).

I hate you for everything Ive ever felt and denied. For as long as I can remember I've only wanted one thing, both undeniable and unattainable. Have I moved on? Im happy now. Doubt is a motherfucker.

I miss Natalie.

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 02:58:39 GMT

Woweee.

So, Im here.

And...uh... So is Fudge. Fudge is watching a show which I cannot understand. It appears to be some sort of cross between desperate housewives and ER...

Boredy bored bored bored.

THE MAN PUNTED BAXTER!!!!!!!!!

Im lonely right now. Not that Im unused to it in general. Having someone to miss is well worth missing them. Except... I miss her. Lame, I am. Hooza

If I could purge any one state from the records and make it so that it never was... I think I would pick Utah.

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 17:23:17 GMT

Haha, he said Tits McGee.

Rock N Roll McDonalds

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 04:01:32 GMT

This weekend hasn't been too bad, thus far. Friday was awesome and I would give anything to relive it over and over again. Wednesday(Not a weekend, you say? Fuck you and your obese cocker spaniel, I say!) was equally awesome. Today, however, is turning out bland. Not bad in any way shape or form. Im seeing a whole lot of Ben and Mike. Mike has had his ass whipped by me in warmachine 2 times in 2 days.. I think that calls for a hoo-hah. Not really, but hey... I do's what I can. So yeah.. Had chinese food and Natalie and monster and warmachine on friday (Proper sentence structure and grammar? Thou hast cometh to the wrong place.) which all made the day pretty awesome.

Four is a good number.. So now we just raise the bar to 5.

I miss you.

Trout Are Not to Be Taken Lightly

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 06:27:49 GMT

Man, people are stupid. I find equals not in people who can accumulate knowledge(although I can respect that), but in people who have a capacity for actual thought. Some of the "text book" smartest people Ive met are fucking idiots who can't handle their own lives. You can learn and learn and learn (run-on? fuck off!) but still will remain more or less worthless to the world until you learn simple patterns of thought and behavior. This isnt directed at anyone in particular.. Well maybe Mike.

Hung out with El Mike tonight. T'was pretty fun. We're the worst secret agents ever to exist. What with the jumping down open elevator shafts and whatnot. Still... We took down some korean terrorists.

I miss you right now. I've missed you pretty much all day. I gotta try to get a hold of you early tomorrow or tonight. I just don't want to wake anyone up. Might as well try, can always hang up or something.

Never Lasts Forever

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 16:49:51 GMT

Sinner!

So bored right now. Tried to call Mike a few minutes ago. He's not around.

Got to see Natalie last night. We sat outside and talked most of the time. It was fabulous. Everything feels right. For the first time in a long time, I feel right. It doesnt even bother me that Im bored right now. Normally Id be scaling the walls and looking for some way out. Now I have something to think about that interests me. Archaic fucking machines. I hate the troll at meijer, but she saved me $200.

Went and cashed my check with Ben today, as we do every thursday. Fudge, Danielle Bombgargaler, Ben, and I went out to breakfast after that and from there I began to feel lonely. Sad as it is to say, I dont like going a day without her. Like an addiction or allergy, I need some pills or something.

Taking on seven years
the holy ghost had left alone

Test my arms, kick like crazy
I've been trying way too long

Only pushed away off to fight you
Not sorry, and sorry I'm not sure

Getting off my chest, the story ends

I would find a way without
(tell him his eyes see too clear)
I would find a way without you
(tell him his eyes see too clear)

That mistake was gold
I run without you
its something that I could never do

that was why staple the eyes and
seven days for me to turn the sheets
and tear on

Seven years you assured me
that Id be fine if I complied

only pushed away off to fight you
Not sorry and sorry I'm not sure

getting off my chest, the story ends

I would find a way without
(tell him his eyes see too clear)
I would find a way without you
(tell him his eyes see too clear)

That mistake was gold
I run without you
its something that I could never do

that was why
(staple the eyes and
seven dates for me to sell machines
and tear on)

Sorry and Sorry I'm gone
Dont treat me, I'm to blame
Dont treat me like I ever accused you

Relapse Is Not Always Negative, bitch

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 08:24:33 GMT

Har har har. I won at Madden! Take that! Out of 2 opponents in one day, neither walked away with the thrill of victory. If you think it's stupid for me to brag about this, then you weren't there and your opinion probably means less than shit to all involved. Take that! I should be in bed right now, but being around her leaves me feeling alive if nothing else.(Usually a whole lot more)

I dunno.. Is it wrong, childish, immature, overreacting, et cetera to make some ones life a living hell? I think so. I personally prefer the path of least resistance. Does that make me a coward? Maybe.. But a coward who is happy nonetheless. Take that laws of english. Life isn't hazy anymore. I know exactly where I stand, and Im happy with that. Shortcomings and all. We are all flawed individuals. All equally, I might add. The difference between the broken and the working is dealing with and accepting those flaws. Acceptance. If ever there were a motto for life, that should be it. You can't kill everyone you hate. You cant force some one to love you. You can't stop yourself from loving some one else. You can't become some one youre not. Accept what and where you are, and life is so much better. Rationalization ? Pah. Justification ? Humbug! We are as we were meant to be. Nothing is stronger than that. Does this pertain to anyone? It applies to everyone. Every day.

"He could be incinerated by the heat of a thousand suns and it would be too good." -"Pauly Shore Is Dead"

Right. Good. Yes? Fine!

Natalie never fails to amaze me. No actions necessary. No words or anything of the sort. I guess Im just a dork when it comes to her, but fuck it, I like it.

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 04:01:02 GMT

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah.

Went to see Sin City with Natalie last night. Much fun. I want her to be here now. Slur!!! SLUUURRRRRRR!!!!!! SLLLLUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

God damn.. Am I the only non "ex boyfriend" ex boyfriend out there? Whiny, angry, or deluded bitches.. Take your pick. The end result is always the same. Let go and move on. Threaten my life, well being, et cetera I dont care. Talk down one of the best things in my life; and I'll rip your fucking head off. Doubt me? I guess I let that go too long. I just got off work right now and I have no one here to calm me down so Im gonna just vent and rant and maybe take a drive to some ones place of employment to shove a slurpee machine up their ass. Not that I will. Just a pleasant thought to keep me going until I see her again. So few people have seen me angry.

"Oh yeah, Im real pissed now, Rog."

Im really not pissed, by the by. I find it utterly hi-fucking-llarious. Was I ever that pitiful? I'd like to think I wasn't , but know that's not the truth. Ive had my moments, but Ive grown since then.

Tonight we are slaves to no one, except the rhythm.

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 17:33:08 GMT

Damn. I wish I had something to do right now. Apparently, no one is awake or around right now. Damn. I wonder who would win in a fight.. Eric Bana or Tom Jane... The Hulk -vs- The Punisher.. Only in real life... S'cool as Eric Bana is.. Tom Jane would prolly knock him out..

I hate my brother.

(Actually I dont. He's the only friend Ive really got left who I see regularly, and don't feel like he's draining my life)

I have to make poop.

I wish people would realize things before its too late. It seems a common thing that everyone gets so caught up in their pettiness that they forget what's truly important until that bridge is burned and theres no way back across. Anger comes and goes, and there's no point in getting caught up in it. Trust me, Ive gone down that path most of my life.

Im gonna go eat a cinnamon bun now.

Then make poop.

Pauly Shore Is Dead!

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 15:23:03 GMT

Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D -vs- Frank Castle aka The Punisher. My money is on Fury. For some reason I decided to go buy toys last night at around 11 PM. I really cant explain why.. Maybe because MP3 players are so fuckin expensive, and I dont feel like spending that much, so $20 on toys kinda fills that void.

Rented some movies last night as well. Frankenfish, which as you could probably guess is about giant mutant fish things... Its horrible. I liked it. Also, I rented "Pauly Shore Is Dead" which (though I hate Pauly Shore) I found pretty funny. It could just be that I was in a good mood from having Natalie around.. Im not sure, and honsetly, don't care. Good is good. Why bother explaining or justifying it?

Oh yeah.. I wanna cave in some ones head. Im not sure who yet. Next fucker to cross me, probably. Aggression is nice when directed positively. Too bad all I can think of is deviating the septim of some giant fat fuck in meijer. Ahh well. Been awhile since Ive been in a situation like that. Not that I enjoy it, its just good to know where you stand.

Still Kickin' It

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 04:04:49 GMT

Bored right now. Its the first night in a few I havent got to see Natalie. I was supposed to, but I haven't the foggiest idea what happened there. Not concerned though. Mike didn't call either, like he was supposed to. Sometimes I feel bad I don't hang out with him all that much(at least for the past few weeks.) But hey, before you call me insensitive or a bad friend or something, I work a whole hell of a lot. Maybe not that much hour-wise... But its a fucking killer job. Anyone who would even begin to say differently can go to hell right now, because theyre a lying bitch.

I want books-a-million to send me my fucking W-2... Theres like 400-500 dollars there that I would really fucking like. I should get the government involved or something, since they are legally obligated to get it to me. So fucking lazy, am I. Im also bored. I wish I had something to do.

So yeah, clunk it up you clunk-ass bitch.